Free for a day

I made it! Yesterday I was free for a day! And today I wanna be free for another day

No, I am not speaking about material, external freedom. For a long time, in my mind the word freedom equalled having plenty of money and not having to grind a 9-5 slave job. Once I had achieved that, I started to understand that true freedom includes much more – being free from all cravings, and maintaining peace of mind. I was a slave of my own ego and its addictions for many, many years. For most of those years I wanted to free myself, but I had no clue of how to get there. Whenever I tried to get rid of an addiction with force I soon replaced it with another addiction or simply fell back into the same patterns again.

This time it’s different, I can feel it already. First of all, I now have very strong motives for breaking free – motives of power, not force. Secondly, my will to do this is stronger than ever before, it grew out of increased frustration and the recognition of what really matters at this point in my life. So I decided this week that yesterday (Saturday) is the day that I want to be free, go cold turkey, at least for a day. For me this means no cigarettes, no marijuana, no alcohol and no coffee. It’s quite hard but I am extremely happy and proud that I made it yesterday. To some of you it may seem like a small step but to me this is a huuuuge step.

My ego works in a way that whenever I used to formulate a resolution like “I want to stop smoking cigarettes completely” or “I want smoke no marihuana for a month” it would go totally crazy and drive me nuts becasue it hates that kind of pressure coupled with a medium to long term outlook of having to do without an established habit. That’s why I’m using “free for a day” as my goal, there’s no pressure for more than a day this way. But of course I can always add another day

Archangel Michael gave me the idea when he said to me “Just try for ONE day, you’ve given your ego years!” And on Friday I found a good German website about breaking free from marihuana, I had a great laugh when I saw their slogan “Grasfrei – nur fuer heute!”, it literally means “Free from grass – only for today!”

I’ll document the process I am going through further on this blog. For now, all that counts for me is “free for another day”!